Sheena Oxer

Sheena Oxer

I believe that every person has the right to a peaceful and happy life and be set free

What makes you happy

There are a lot of lovely, well meaning, people sharing with us what ‘makes them happy’, exercise, baking, drawing. Are you finding it overwhelming?

Have you ever wondered why one person says that exercise makes them happy, or another person says baking does it for them? They are so passionate about it.

Do you wonder why it isn’t the same for you? When you have just finished exercising and you want to be sick and never do that again, they are saying that they feel great and will be doing the same again tomorrow morning.

Do you wonder why you aren’t filled with joy as you stir the batter of a cake? The person who wrote the article you read said that it would make you feel better.

The reason why it didn’t make you feel better is a seemingly small thing. You aren’t the same person as anyone else. You are unique. And in our own unique experience of life, we all get to think and feel differently about the same things. That is how we experience life. You don’t think the same as anyone else. Others may get joy from baking as they have similar thoughts coming to them about the baking.

It isn’t the baking itself. It is the thinking about the baking.

It isn’t the drawing or painting itself. It is the thoughts that come about the drawing or painting.

It is not the exercise, it is the thinking about the exercise.

If it was true that it was the drawing/baking/exercise that made them feel then we would all feel the same way about it. This is so logical, yet we can’t see it as we all believe that things, people, circumstances and places can make us feel. It is an innocent misunderstanding of our psychology.

I read an article recently which said that a certain percentage of people feel better when they are in nature. Do you get curious as to why that might be? If it was nature making us feel better then it should be 100%. What is different about that percentage that doesn’t feel better? Well they think differently about being in nature. We don’t all think the same. They might be thinking that nature is dull or that they have a belief about it being depressing or whatever, but the real crux of it is we all feel as we think. Every thought we have comes with a feeling.

Thoughts come and go very quickly. They don’t last long.

Understanding our psychology in this way allows us to do what we enjoy doing and know that the feelings we are having are coming from thought. We don’t wonder why ‘it’ didn’t work today. Why the exercise, or baking, or drawing didn’t make us happy. We don’t wonder why we feel as we do. We know all of the time where our feelings are coming from. It is such a relief not to be analysing ourselves all the time. Such a relief to know ‘how am I feeling’ isn’t really the question. The real questions is ‘how do I think I experience life’?

Knowing how I experience life gives me peace of mind. I don’t have to do anything to get it.