Sheena Oxer

Sheena Oxer

I believe that every person has the right to a peaceful and happy life and be set free

Mental health, a different perspective: Can we always choose our thoughts?

There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding in our culture that the answer to some our problems of mental health is to think positively or calm our mind.

Yes it does seem sometimes that I have control over my thinking and I can choose to think about grey bunnies right now, but at other times I don’t seem to be able to do anything about what I am thinking about, despite how uncomfortable it is and how much I want it to change. In fact it seems as though the more I try to change these uncomfortable thoughts the more they seem to hang around.

What if the very fact that I am trying to change them is the thing that is keeping them in place?

What if I simply know where that feeling is coming from and know that it will pass on its own?

Well how do I do that? I hear you ask.

The good news is that you don’t have to do it. It happens automatically when you understand where all feelings are coming from and that is from a thought right now.

We were are all brought up to think that feelings come from ‘out there’, life makes us feel a certain way:

The sunshine makes us happy.

The film makes us sad.

Our children make us feel worried.

But we are missing the reality of how we experience life. I would very much doubt if everyone felt the same on a sunny day.

Someone may be sitting in the sun and feeling deeply depressed.

Some may not find the film sad at all but manipulative or nauseating.

We feel very differently about our children in different moments on different days. We cannot possibly worry about then 24/7.

We feel differently on different days due to different thoughts, all coming with a feeling.

We experience life via our thoughts about life in any given moment. 100% of the time. This is absolute truth.

Knowing this, insightfully, takes so much off our minds, as we are no longer judging ourselves for having different feelings, or worrying about why we have them, or trying to change them.

Thoughts change on their own.

It is the 100% rule that gives us peace of mind even if we are feeling something truly terrible that, in the past, we would have been judging the hell out of and been very upset about.

If you want to see this for yourself you could challenge yourself to feel the same way about the same thing all of the time. You will notice that this is not the case and this gives you evidence that our feelings are coming from our thinking about life and not life itself.

This is a simple yet truly liberating thing to know as you will not be trying to change yourself or life to feel better. You will begin to be able to accept yourself and others more and you will see life from a totally new perspective.

If you do challenge yourself I would love to hear from you to see how you get on.

If you are interested to hear more I have blogs and podcasts on my website.

Please do contact me, I would love to help you through this time of change:

+44 (0) 7879628312