This understanding is learned through insight, which is a ‘sight from within’, from within ourselves. As this is insightfully seen, you don’t believe something effortfully because I have told you, you see for yourself that it is true, effortlessly. When we can see what is true, we can also see what isn’t and our thinking about it falls away.
When learning about how we experience life we can have insights that are seen and insights that we don’t see. When we have an insight that we see we can clearly see our thinking for what it is around a particular subject or a particular belief. When we have an insight that we don’t see we simply notice that we are showing up differently from how we had previously been able to.
Some time ago I spent the day with Ann Ross on a beautiful and ice-encrusted Dartmoor and returned to collect my children from an after-school club.
While going about our evening antics I was surprised and shocked to hear what was coming out of my mouth. I am not a very impolite person by any stretch of the imagination but when it comes to my daughter, I can, at times, be a little tetchy. She was standing in front of the drawer in the kitchen which I needed to access for some cooking utensil, usually, I would say something less than ceremonious, like ‘you need to move’ and assume that she knew why. The same thought/feeling was going through me: she needs to move so I can get what I need to take out of the drawer and get on with the cooking. And instead of the usual ‘move’, I said, ‘Darling, could you just hop down a for a sec,’ (she was standing on a small chair) ‘I need to get something out of that drawer’ and then ‘Thank you’. I assume that something of my usual thinking had fallen away.
Through no effort of my own something more loving than I was even thinking came out of my mouth. It was not like I planned to be more loving or chose to be more loving. A more loving way of communicating just came out of my mouth. As I learn more and more about how our experience is being created I am being blown away by what ripple effect this is having on the rest of my life and on my experience of every day.